Longer Beards Indicate Smaller Testicles, According to Science
Sure, your long, luscious beard probably looks great. But you could be announcing to the world you have small testicles.
This is according to a study published April 2019 in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B journal. It looked at 100 separate species of primates, including humans, and researchers found that testicle size varies according to the animal. While some have testicles the size of peas, others could have testes the size of tennis balls, which, incidentally happened to be the largest.
The Australian scientists also examined whether or not the size of the balls indicated dominance among the species who were mating. They found that the species with the smallest nuts had more eye-catching appearances, typically by way of longer fur. This correlation also seemed to be evident for homo sapiens, according to the study.
The reason? Basically, male primates who live in competitive environments all have the same mission: to become fathers. But according to a statement made by Dr. Cyril Grueter, co-author of the study and primatologist, "Not all of them can [mate]. So how do they succeed? Well, next to simply fighting, they can produce so-called 'badges of status'; showy ornaments that help their bearers control access to females by intimidating other males. And if males cannot keep others off their females, they can win by producing a lot of sperm to swamp those from their rivals."
"We found the same thing with ornamentation — some species sport flamboyant accoutrements such as beards, manes, capes and cheek flanges, and various shades of color in their faces and fur,” Grueter said in a University of Western Australia statement. “Others are pretty drab and look more like your Mr. Average.”
Grueter says their findings “clearly show[s] that you can be well-adorned or well-endowed, but it's hard to be both,” simply because it takes too much energy.
Considering the popularity of various facial hairstyles, it would seem that at least, for humans, maybe a small amount of facial hair is worth the sacrifice of smaller testicles.
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